I did nothing today. I did not do all my chores around the house, despite the fact that my mother-in-law coming to visit tomorrow. I didn’t read my email from work, even though I had to open it to send a message I promised I would send. I did not even answer the phone when work called me. It felt good, really good. Life has been moving at such a hectic pace of late that it was, in fact, necessary.
Taking this time was not was not easy for me. Not only do I still have deadlines that are getting closer by the minute, but I have regular demands of life and work, and I have me. While I know how to relax, I rarely take the time to do it properly. My version usually involves writing three different lists while watching TV, surfing the web and doing things that don’t require me to think or move much. This doesn’t really relax me, it just makes me think I am relaxing.
Today was different. I started out thinking that I was going to accomplish a huge pile of things, but then could not get started. This has happened in the past, but I usually either bargain with myself, or make myself feel guilty so I get things done. Those thoughts never crossed my mind today. Instead, I permitted myself to do fuck all. It was very liberating.
I think I am going to start doing this more often. While I don’t see myself blowing off an entire day of work again anytime soon, I am going to make a conscious effort to make time for me. My new year’s resolution was going to be that I would start to spoil myself a little be more, but I am OK with starting a little bit early. I will, however, be making a list of the things that I am going to be doing!