It’s not like we get a lot of calls, or that I mind the local calls. It’s the multiple ring that means its long distance. I clench my teeth, my heart starts racing, and I check the caller ID. Usually it’s a telemarketing call and I am relieved. Yes, relieved. Sometimes it is from family. Those calls have been pretty normal update calls so far, but I know that they won’t always be.
I don’t want it to be that call, the one that tells us my FIL has gotten worse. I told Willy that I felt this way, now I am afraid that I might have passed my fears on to him. Being so far away (even when it is not that far) is hard. I see the stress beginning to bubble to the surface, and I hate that it is. We are so powerless at the moment.
I hate cancer.